Anal Sex: Healthy practices

But HOW do you have anal sex safely and cleanly?!

*Check out the initial post about anal sex.

The first time you have penetrative anal sex you need to start small and slow. Take the time to build a healthy practice for anal sex so that you and your partner can enjoy it!

The anal muscles have been pushing out your entire life, and those muscles need to be trained to accept penetration. This process will be better and more enjoyable if it is done with communication and respect (Read: Use lube!).

Penetration

If the plan is to insert a penis, the average penis is going to be too big to fit comfortably the first time. There are training toys you can buy—a series of butt plugs that start small and get bigger as you train the muscles. Plugs and dildos for anal play are made specifically for this use do not substitute fruit, vegetables, random objects, or regular penetrative sex toys.*

You can also use your fingers. Trim and file your nails, start with one, and use LUBE. Add additional fingers to help stretch and train the anal muscles. Go slow. It may feel uncomfortable but it should not hurt.

The anus does not need a lot of pumping and thrusting (certainly up to an individual’s preference), which is why butt plugs are a favored toy. It is the extra pressure that feels good, a sensation of feeling full.

For those who have a prostate, applying pressure with a finger or a specifically curved dildo can feel amazing. The prostate is known as the male g-spot

Ask for consent, bring the lube, talk about needs and desires, and then do it.

Cleanliness & Safety

What about ... (leans in and whispers) ... poo? Feces or poo, dookie, crap, etc. is the waste matter our bodies produce after gleaning all the nutrients they need from food.

If you are squeamish about interacting with feces during anal sex you can chose to perform an enema—cleansing the anal cavity with a water solution. Enemas are not required for anal sex, and I strongly encourage you to do research before performing an enema. You need to understand the required steps, best practices, and any possible side effects. It’s worth talking to a doctor to have a clear understanding of what enemas do to your body.

Anal sex is a higher risk sexual behavior for the transmission of infections. The skin in and around the anus is thinner and more likely to tear without proper care. Using condoms, gloves, and dental dams can protect everyone involved from fluid exchange and the risk of sexualy transmitted infections (STIs). Also, anal tearing hurts and can lead to bigger problems so using LUBE and lots of it can help prevent tearing.

This is all manageable with communication and respect for your lovers, whether you are in a long term relationship or a one-night stand. Ask for consent, bring the lube, talk about needs and desires, and then do it.

Your Healthy Practices for Anal Sex

• Consent always and every time.

  • Poking a finger into someone else's anus is not your special surprise for them.

  • It does not matter if you are already engaging in a sexual behavior and you "think" they will like it.

• Use LUBE!

  • Oil-based or silicone lube is best.

  • However, if you are using toys or condoms take note. Oil-based lubes will disintegrate latex and silicone lubes can react with silicone toys.

• Communication, respect, patience, and trust

• *Anal specific toys.

  • They have a flared base to prevent full insertion.

  • Toys without a flared base will be pulled into the anal cavity.

  • The unflared toy or non-anal specific object lost in your body will need to be removed by a doctor, which means a visit to the emergency room.

• Use LUBE!

• Tips for a cleaning practice before anal.

  • Using the restroom

  • Cleaning the outside of the anus with some gentle, unscented wipes

  • Performing an enema, if you want (not required)

  • Showering, if you want to feel extra squeaky clean

• Be sure to use condoms for toys or a penis and latex gloves for hands.

• Use more LUBE!