In The Moment

How do I get out of my head during sex?

Feeling Yourself

There are countless reasons why someone may get stuck in their head during sexual moments, but here are a few to start:

  • Maybe you've had a negative sexual experience making it may be hard to engage in positive sexual experiences moving forward.

  • Maybe you have unanswered questions about sex causing you to hesitate with some sexual behaviors.

  • Maybe you believe that every sexual interaction has to end in an orgasm, resulting in being more focused on the outcome than on the path to getting there.

The societies we live in default to shaming sexuality, making it challenging to find safe spaces to learn and discuss what we don’t know about sexuality. When you find a safe space, you can begin addressing the why-I’m-in-my-head during sex and discover solutions!


A couple of quick tips to try:

  1. Always check in with yourself about whether you want to be having sex or not. Any hesitation should be a firm no to sex.

  2. Talk to your sexual partners about where you crave to be touched, what sexual activities you like and dislike, and how you make yourself orgasm, then ask them the same questions.

Communication is the crux of any sexual interaction, yet it is the one thing we receive conditioning to avoid doing in our relationships!

Sex feels good.
Sex is healthy.
Sex requires consent.
Consent is communication.
Communication is easier with knowledge.

When we know what we enjoy and desire, we should celebrate and talk openly about it. Instead, we question our bodies, feed into our self-doubts, and follow outdated hetero-normative, cisgender, patriarchal ideals. Go be an anarchist in bed!



Book a coaching session to unravel why your brain and body are miscommunicating.




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